


till the end of the infinities.

by alcx



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Just Friends, Lots of Touching, M/M, Mutually In Love, Pining, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 00:36:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13201938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alcx/pseuds/alcx
Summary: “Hajime will never leave me, right?” Oikawa says, his voice breaking.Iwaizumi doesn’t hesitate even a beat to say, “I will never leave you, Tooru. I promise you, I’ll be by your side till the end of all the infinities there may ever be.”





	till the end of the infinities.

**Author's Note:**

> so don't ask how bc idk either but uh i just got back into haikyuu? um i missed it a lot though and i especially missed my tooru and hajime. 
> 
> this is like really bad and i can write a lot better i promise but ive never posted something for the hq fandom and ive always wanted to. like i always have so many ideas (usually iwaoi) but i never get around to finishing them, much less posting a finished product. plus ive had the concept/plot of this fic in my head forever but ive never really written it down, just thought of it.
> 
> anyway, i really hope you like this even though i dont. feel free to leave comments & kudos!

 

Oikawa should have come home by now. 

On weekdays, he comes home before dinner time. On a Friday night, such as last night, it’s before the sunrises on Saturday. But now it’s Saturday morning, 9:00 am, and the sun is high in the sky. Iwaizumi has sent him at least at least 200 hundred text messages. They started out angry, “ _ Oi Shittykawa. I didn’t make a breakfast for two just for me you asshole.” _ And became worried, “ _ Oikawa? Where are you? Reply to my texts immediately.” _

He sends one after the other, eyes glued to his phone, waiting for any kind of response. But he frequently scrolls up and looks at the last text he had gotten from Oikawa. It was sent at 7:51 pm last night, and read “ _Hi Iwa-chan!_ ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ _I’m going drinking with Kindaichi and some other people tonight, so don’t wait for me or anything, okay? But I know how much you’ll miss me_ (^ω~)”. When Iwaizumi had received that text, he was annoyed. He hated Oikawa’s stupid emoticons, and how excessively they were used in his texts. In fact, he was surprised that this message didn’t have at least five more of those tacky things. He was also annoyed because he made dinner for two, but most of all, annoyed that Oikawa said that he would miss him. Oikawa had been teasing Iwaizumi, but he was right. He hated that the last sentence in that text made him blush, he hated that Oikawa was right, and he hated the fact that he loved his best friend a bit too much.

Iwaizumi spent the night binge watching a show on Netflix by himself, sipping a beer and eating his mediocre cooking. He wasn’t worried about Oikawa. The only thing he was worried about was having to deal with a piss drunk Oikawa when he returned, and in the morning, an especially whiny Oikawa that was dealing with a bad hangover. 

He glanced at his phone, hoping to see a text from Oikawa. Maybe an update, something like that. Iwaizumi almost never goes drinking with him. When Oikawa goes, he almost always begs Iwaizumi to go, though he never agrees. And Oikawa would sulk and go drink with other people, but he’d make sure to send him little updates like, “ _ A cute girl was checking me out  _ (^人^) _ should I go for it Iwa-chan  _ (´ ω `♡)” and Iwaizumi would always leave him on read. Maybe mildly out of jealousy.

That night, though, Oikawa doesn’t text him anything. Iwaizumi thinks it’s strange, but he doesn’t really think anything of it. He goes to bed, assuming Oikawa ended up getting laid. Usually Oikawa does not hook up on his drinking nights, but occasionally he will. He does have the decency to not bring it to his and Iwaizumi’s apartment. One time he brought a girl home and tried to be quiet about it, but nonetheless, Iwaizumi was woken up. He was furious, and he kicked the girl out. “Don’t hook up while I’m here, you big asshole! Especially when I’m trying to sleep!” Iwaizumi had yelled.

After a night of Oikawa drinking, even if Oikawa hooked up, Iwaizumi usually wakes up in the morning with him curled against his side, head resting on his chest, limbs slung around him, holding him captive. Iwaizumi never thinks to complain, only hoping that his racing heartbeat won’t somehow wake Oikawa up. In that scenario, Iwaizumi watches him sleep like the creep he is. Even though Oikawa is always a disgusting mess after drinking, Iwaizumi can’t help but look at him like he’s the sun after it rained. Not only that, but Oikawa is an ugly sleeper, too. He snores, drools, hogs the blankets, and kicks. But Iwaizumi doesn’t mind. He freezes because he lets Oikawa hog the blankets, gets barely any sleep because of how loud Oikawa snores, feels the kicks just as he’s drifting off, and wakes up with a wet spot on his t-shirt. But before Oikawa wakes up, Iwaizumi likes to run his hands through that soft, milk chocolate colored hair. He’s sure that he’s a pervert for doing all this to Oikawa when he sleeps. And Oikawa sleeping with him is not a rare occurrence, either, so he has no reason to be thirsty. But after drinking nights, he sleeps in especially late, which gives Iwaizumi even more time to admire him. He’s not really a pervert. Just hopelessly in love with his best friend.

But this morning, Iwaizumi doesn’t wake up freezing cold with the only source of warmth being Oikawa draped all over him. He wakes up warm in his bed with no Oikawa using him as a body pillow. He is alone. Maybe that would be fine if last night wasn’t a drinking night. But last night was a drinking night. It’s bordering on worrying.

Iwaizumi quickly looks at the notifications on his phone screen, but none are from Oikawa. No text telling him that he’ll be staying the night at someone else’s place. Oikawa usually would have done that. Iwaizumi know’s the if’s and what Oikawa does for those if’s. If he’s drinking, he will usually intermittently text Iwaizumi. If he drank the night before, he will usually come home and curl up next to an already sleeping Iwaizumi. Last night and today have not been full of the usually’s that they usually are. But the thing is, is that these usually’s are not true usually’s. They’re always. And Iwaizumi is beginning to worry.

But he shakes his head and sighs.  _ That Shittykawa is fucking with me. He probably got his head stuck too far in his ass to remember to text me. They’re probably having morning sex _ , are some of his thoughts he uses to try and reassure himself. It works, and lures the anger out of him, because Oikawa is being irresponsible and probably stupid. But Iwaizumi is still worried, and he can’t push that feeling away.

He tries to go about his day, fixing breakfast. He shakes all worries from him and makes enough food to feed two, but he has a sinking feeling that Oikawa won’t be home in time to eat it. He saran wraps Oikawa’s portion and puts it in the fridge.

After doing so, he takes out his phone, feeling annoyed that he made extra food for no reason, and texts Oikawa, “ _ Oi Shittykawa. I didn’t make a breakfast for two just for me you asshole, _ ” in an attempt to mask his concern. Maybe pretending like everything’s normal will make it normal, or at least assuage his worry.

He’s probably just being paranoid anyway, acting too much like he’s Oikawa’s mother. He’s way too attached to Oikawa.

Iwaizumi spends hours trying to make the worry go away by thinking some reassuring thoughts, watching TV to distract himself, even studying if that will make the anxiety go away. His emotions bounce from annoyance to concern. But he can’t distract himself from Oikawa. He can’t stop wondering where he is, what happened. Why it’s happening, if it’s really happening, is something really wrong. Too many questions.

After an hour of staring at the TV, but not watching whatever was on it, Iwaizumi sends Kindaichi a text, trying not to sound panicked. “ _ Where’s Oikawa??? _ ” it reads.

The reply is almost instantaneous. “ _ Idk. Didn’t seem him after a few hours. Figured he left the bar with someone _ ”

Iwaizumi’s heart drops and he doesn’t know why; he only knows it’s not jealousy. It’s a bad feeling. His fingers type as fast as they can, desperate to get as much information as he can. “ _ Dud u see witg who? _ ” The text is barely comprehensible, but Iwaizumi is too panicked to care. He feels light headed, can’t think straight.

“ _ No, _ ” comes the reply. “ _ Wasn’t any of our friends though. They were all still with me at the end of the night. _ ” Iwaizumi sees him typing. “ _ Why? Didn’t he come home last night? _ ”

Iwaizumi doesn’t reply to that. It takes everything in him to not grab his coat and shoes and run around Tokyo looking for Oikawa. Something doesn’t feel right at all, and his worry has evolved into panic. He feels nauseous and regrets eating breakfast.

Over the hours, he’s put through at least 50 calls, all of which were sent to voicemail. One ring, and then the automatic response. He left voicemails, begging Oikawa to reply, nearly crying in all of them. He won’t stop staring at the chain of messages with Oikawa, and keeps sending more. No reply, no grey bubble to indicate that he’s typing, not even a read receipt. 

Iwaizumi finishes typing another text and tosses his phone to the other side of the couch. Trembling, he brings his hands up and runs them through his hair, pulling on it, hurting just a bit. He takes a deep breath and tries to steady it, but it comes out ragged and shaky. “Tooru,” he whispers to himself.

Just as he’s about to break down and curl up into a pathetic little ball, Iwaizumi hears something at the door. His head perks up immediately and he runs to the door, hoping it’s Oikawa. He nearly slips in his mad dash, but regains his balance and throws himself against the door, looking through the peephole.

It doesn’t even take a nanosecond for Iwaizumi to recognize that it’s Oikawa.

He throws the door open, lets it hit the wall, and hard. There will definitely be hole, or at least a mark, where the doorknob hit it. He’s breathing heavily, not sure what to say. He’s angry, because Oikawa looks fine, so he must’ve just been irresponsible. His concerns are melting away, but the anger inside him builds.

And suddenly he snaps. “Oikawa, what the fuck? I have been worried fucking  _ sick _ about you! You didn’t think of even looking at my thousands of texts? Calling me back? At least listening to the voicemails?” Iwaizumi stops, glaring at Oikawa, who still hasn’t looked up. “Look at me, you bastard! Fucking at least have the decency to look me in the eye after-”

Oikawa slowly lifts his head, and Iwaizumi wants to take back everything he said. There are tears streaming down his face. One of his eyes is black. He looks pale and hollow. Emaciated after one night. But his expression is what breaks Iwaizumi.

Oikawa’s face slowly breaks into a smile as he looks up, and it’s the saddest smile Iwaizumi has ever seen. It’s too forced, but Oikawa keeps smiling despite the tears running down his cheeks. He smiles even though his eyes are black, empty, and his entire face is sunken. Iwaizumi is making direct eye contact with him, watching his eyes twinkle with tears, looking at that unwavering smile. “I’m sorry I worried Iwa-chan,” comes a trembling voice that tries so desperately to sound okay.

Iwaizumi thinks he’s the most fucked up person in the world, because his heart had leaped once he saw it was Oikawa, and it’s relentlessly doing all kinds of acrobatics. He mentally slaps himself for being like this when Oikawa is clearly miserable. His stomach is filled with butterflies, but it also feels like it was punched. It’s only partly because he’s in love. Even at his worst, Iwaizumi can’t help but sigh, because in his eyes, Oikawa is still the best.

He stopped yelling long ago, and a heavy silence hangs between them. Iwaizumi’s gaping for some reason, unsure how to move or even process it. All the while, Oikawa still smiles, though it begins to falter.

Iwaizumi takes a shaky breath before he gently pulls Oikawa into him. “Tooru,” he whispers, just loud enough so Oikawa can hear him. He feels a pair of arms wrap weakly around him, and a head buried in the crook where his neck and shoulders meet. He pulls Oikawa closer, breathing in the pungent odor of alcohol that still lingers on the man’s clothes. “Tooru, what happened to you?”

Oikawa doesn’t reply to the question. He huddles into Iwaizumi, and Iwaizumi feels like he was made to protect Oikawa. Oikawa who loves to be cocky and smirk. Oikawa who is actually fragile, insecure, and doubts himself constantly. “I’m cold, Iwa-chan,” he says in a small voice that Iwaizumi has never heard from him before.

Iwaizumi realizes that they’re still standing in the doorway. He pulls Oikawa inside and closes the door behind them. “Can you walk?” he asks. Oikawa is still holding onto him, and doesn’t make an effort to respond. Iwaizumi understands everything from nothing, picking him up easily and carrying him bridal style down through the apartment.

He hears a small voice, though muffled against his clothes. “Iwa-chan, your room.”

Oikawa isn’t looking up, but Iwaizumi nods anyway and takes them down the corridor to his room. He pushes the door open with his foot and gently sets Oikawa down on the bed. For a moment, Oikawa doesn’t move, and Iwaizumi thinks that he’s going to sleep. He turns around, thinking that Oikawa needs time alone, but he hears him say, “Hajime. Please don’t leave me.”

And Iwaizumi turns around and sees Oikawa smiling that sad, sad smile, one hand reaching toward him. He walks back to him, heart still breaking, and sits on the bed across from Oikawa, leaning against the headboard. And suddenly Oikawa is in his lap, limbs wrapped around him like Iwaizumi was his sole lifeforce. He feels tears soak the shoulder of his shirt, but that’s ok, and he pulls Oikawa closer, one arm wrapped tight around his waist, the other in his hair.

“Hajime will never leave me, right?” Oikawa says, his voice breaking.

Iwaizumi doesn’t hesitate even a beat to say, “I will never leave you, Tooru. I promise you, I’ll be by your side till the end of all the infinities there may ever be.”

He hears a loud sob and the body beneath him tremble and shiver. It takes Iwaizumi by surprise, but Oikawa is finally breaking down and he’s relieved. Relieved that Oikawa feels safe enough to cry and feel. It is a rare occurrence that he lets it out, but Iwaizumi will always hold him tight and whisper into his ear, “It’ll be ok,” through it all. Oikawa could cry for hours, and Iwaizumi would still hold onto him.

“What happened to you, Tooru?” he murmurs softly, rubbing Oikawa’s back.

“Hajime,” Oikawa hiccups, and a wave of fresh tears swamps him. “I...I don’t wan’t...wan’t you to b-be...mad….”

Iwaizumi’s heart shatters. How could Oikawa think that he’d be mad right now? Was it the outburst earlier? His stomach sinks sith guilt. “I won’t be mad. I promise. I just need to know that you’re ok. I’m not mad, I’ll never be mad. Just, Tooru, please...trust me.”

“I d-do, Iwa-chan...but if I s-say it...it’ll be true. I-I’ll...make it r-real.”

“It’s ok,” Iwaizumi says, “Take your time. It doesn’t even have to be now.”

Oikawa sighs and pulls away from Iwaizumi’s warm embrace. He wipes the tears from his face as best he can, but his eyes still produce more. Iwaizumi holds his hand, reassuring him, a silent gesture so that Oikawa knows that he can trust him. “But it needs to be now,” Oikawa says.

Iwaizumi traces circles onto the other’s hand with his thumb, and he waits. He even lifts Oikawa’s hand to his lips and plants a soft kiss on the back of his hand, feeling his lips tingle as he does so. He’s scared of Oikawa rejecting the gesture, but he hasn’t been rejected. Not at all. Iwaizumi looks up and sees his lips curve into a small smile, and relief floods him.

But the smile immediately goes away when Oikawa opens his mouth to talk again. “Hajime, I...I was raped.”   


Iwaizumi’s blood runs cold, and suddenly it feels like every atom in his body has seized movement. He can’t breathe properly. What? He can’t even bring himself to imagine what had happened. But everything makes sense now, and more than ever, he hates himself for snapping.

“Tooru…” he begins, but is quickly cut off.

“Hajime, please. Just...just hold me,” Oikawa says, his voice beginning to break again.

And that’s exactly what Iwaizumi does. He pulls Oikawa back into his embrace and holds him. Time doesn’t seem real anymore. He’s holding Oikawa so tight, swearing to himself that he will never let go. And he’s planting soft little kisses on his shoulder, chaste and sweet. But as nice as it feels for Oikawa, even though he feels his skin burn, it doesn’t distract him from last night playing over and over in his mind.

* * *

 

_ He’s sitting at the bar by himself. Kindaichi and the others went off. Where? Who knows. A good looking older man walks up to him, takes the seat next to him. The man flashes a movie star smile at him, and Oikawa smiles back. “Mind if I pay for your drinks?” he asks. _

_ “Hmm...? Are you trying to get in my pants?” Oikawa teases, smirking. _

_ “Why do you ask?” the man drawls. _

_ Oikawa swirls his drink, taking a sip before he looks back at the gorgeous man sitting right next to him. “Well, the only reason a complete stranger would offer to pay for my drinks is if he was flirting or trying to get in my pants-” Oikawa looks him up and down, licking his lips. When he looks up again, he sees that the man is biting his lip, and he smirks at that. “-and you look the type who’s looking to get some ass.” _

_ The man laughs, and hums. “What if I came just to be friends?” he suggests, though the dark tone of his voice obviously says otherwise. _

_ “With my looks? No way,” Oikawa says, flashing a grin. _

_ The man laughs again. “Cocky,” he says. “I like you.” _

_ Oikawa finishes his drink and sets it down on the table. Adrenaline rushes through his body. God, he loves every moment of hooking up with someone. Including the introduction. “Well lucky you,” he says, a hand at the back of the man’s neck. “Because I like you too.” _

_ Then the man is yanking Oikawa forward, asserting dominance. They both smirk into the kiss, a hot and heavy one, filled with lust. Oikawa pulls away, smirking against the other man’s lips. He tries to lean back in, but is stopped. _

_ “What a tease,” the man chuckles. _

_ “Is offering to let you fuck me being a tease?” Oikawa asks, feigning innocence. _

_ “We hadn’t gotten that far yet,” the man says. “My place?” _

_ The simper that crawls onto Oikawa’s face is the only answer that the man needs. Soon he’s being led out of the bar, into the cold night air. _

_ However, after a few blocks, Oikawa is beginning to have second thoughts. He enjoyed teasing him, and playing just a bit hard to get. But he can’t leave his friends at the bar without saying anything, and he’s starting to feel the alcohol kick in. This is a bad idea. He needs to go back. It was so sudden anyway, and he needs to get to know this guy better before he has his dick in his ass. Hell, Oikawa doesn’t even know his name. _

_ Oikawa halts, and the man turns around, giving him a confused look. “Look, I’m sorry,” he says with a small smile, “But I don’t think I can do this tonight. My friends are back at the bar, and-” _

_ “Just text them,” the man interrupts. He’s clearly annoyed, but tries to hide it behind a tight smile. _

_ Oikawa worries his lip, looking unsure. “No, it’s not just that. I don’t want to hook up anymore, sorry.” _

_ The man doesn’t bother to conceal his annoyance, which sees to be quickly growing into anger. “Were you leading me on?” he asks through clenched teeth. He points down at his groin, and Oikawa sees that he’s clearly sporting a massive hard on. Oikawa feels kind of bad, but not bad enough to hook up with him. The man takes him by surprise and grabs his hand, pressing it against his clothed penis. “Feel how big that is, baby boy? Don’t you want that inside of you?” he growls. _

_ Oikawa quickly pulls away, feeling the nervousness inside him build up. The guy was getting way too mad. How pent up could he be? Oikawa laughed nervously. “Not today. I mean, I don’t even know your name-” _

_ “Yeah, but, who needs names? Why don’t you get to know me and my little friend instead? Come on. It’ll be fun,” the man smirks. _

_ Oikawa shakes his head, not smiling anymore, and he begins to turn around to walk toward the bar, his heart pounding in fear. A hand clasps his wrist, hard. He tries to shake it off and walk away, but the grip is too strong. His blood runs cold and his breathing shallows. He’s starting to panic, tugs at his hand. “Let go of me,” he says coldly, “I said no.” _

_ The man yanks Oikawa toward him. “You young brats just think you can change your mind. Your generation is so spoiled. You don’t get get to lead a man on and get him all horny and then just leave.” _

_ Oikawa can’t even get a word, because he’s suddenly being taken into an alley. He tries to free his wrist, but he can’t. How is this man so strong? He tries screaming, hoping to get anyone’s attention, but there’s no one in the vicinity. Even if there had been someone, the scream is cut short, because the man delivers a harsh slap to his face, leaving a burning red mark. “Shut up, bitch.” _

_ The man slams Oikawa against the wall, pressing his head against the bricks with one hand as the other unbuttons his pants and pulls them and a pair of boxers down. Then he easily yanks both Oikawa’s pants and boxers, chuckling. “You’re a brat, but damn that ass is fine.” The man says, delivering a spank. Oikawa immediately winces. “Look at that jiggle.” _

_ The man removes his hand from Oikawa’s head and spreads his cheeks open, looking hungrily at his hole. “Nice and tight. Ever done it dry, kid?” _

_ Oikawa freezes and tears prick at his eyes. No way. _

_ The man smirks. “Based on that reaction, I guess not. I bet this is your first time taking a real man’s cock, too.” _

_ There is no warning as Oikawa feels the man pressing into him, stretching him so far he’s sure he’ll be torn in half. The tears roll down his cheeks and he screams, only to be pacified by the man’s fingers being shoved in his mouth. He tries biting them, but the man is undeterred. _

_ For a moment the man stands there, enjoying the feeling. “Mm, you college boys are so tight.” He slaps Oikawa’s ass again. “Can’t wait to shoot my load in you.” _

_ He doesn’t hesitate any longer, and his penis delves in and out of Oikawa’s ass. It burns, it burns like someone had lit him on fire. He can only cry, choking on his own sobs, as feels himself becoming an object. Brutally used.  _

_ It feels like it’s been forever when the man finally shoots his load, and Oikawa feels irreparably tainted. The man throws Oikawa against the wall again, causing him to collapse to the ground in a shivering, half naked pile. He pulls his pants up and says, “It’s not rape if you like it.” _

_ Oikawa watches the man as he walks away, too casually, as if he didn’t just violate another man’s body and take away any security he might’ve felt. He walks away as if he didn’t just decimate another person’s life. _

_ For the man, it was 10 minutes. But for Oikawa, it will be forever. _

* * *

 

“Hajime,” Oikawa breathes. “He...walked away. L-like nothing happened.” His breaths become more erratic and it’s becoming harder to speak. He feels like he’s going into hysterics, and he’s losing control. “He just...why? I s-said n-no...i-it hurt...blood...h-he left m-me in th-that...alley….Ha-Ha...jime….” And then he’s incomprehensible, voice rendered useless by the sobs that come up to replace his words.

Iwaizumi pulls back, and Oikawa looks disappointed. But just as quickly he caresses his cheeks with his hands. “Oikawa Tooru, I swear to you,” Iwaizumi begins, an intense look in his eyes that Oikawa hasn’t seen in years. “Never again will I let anything happen to you.”

Oikawa feels his best friend pull him closer, watches him close his eyes and plant a soft kiss on his lips. It’s the gentlest kiss he’s ever had. It’s also the most passionate. It was no more than three seconds, but it leaves Oikawa’s entire body feeling hot and electric, his heart beating too fast, his head spinning. His lips tingle pleasantly, and he wonders if Iwaizumi knows that that little kiss was the best he’s ever had, out of hundreds.

“Never?” he says, looking up at Iwaizumi. His eyes are earnest, sparkling with determination. If Iwaizumi were a stranger, Oikawa would be able to trust him from that look alone.

“Not until the end of the stars and moons and planets. Not until the end of all the infinities in the universe.”


End file.
